what happiness feels like
We were lying in bed, and he was reading to me. I realized I wanted sex. He went to do something on the computer. I spread the soft blanket on the living room floor and got two condoms and some lube. I held them up in the air to show him, as he looked up from the computer. I thought I was bored, I said. Then I realized I was something else.
We took off all our clothes, and we stood face to face. I moved his hands to my breasts. He held them and brushed my nipples with his fingertips.
I reached down to his cock and played with it, then lightly held his balls, then grabbed his cock again, alternating between the two, and finally settling on his cock. I put spit in my hand and jacked him off--he was fully erect now. His eyes were closed. He enjoyed it.
Then I got down on all fours for him to fuck me from behind. I put a little pillow under my chest and another under my head. My business end stuck up into the air. He was behind me, getting on the condom, and thrust into me.
His fuck was so sweet. We were very close physically. His legs were right up against my legs. The fucking was deep. He rammed it into me. I muttered a pleased sound. He muttered back. He would go slow, taking his cock almost all the way out, to push it all the way in again. He would fuck quickly, hitting a deep place inside me over and over again.
We made small sounds to one another. I was perfectly comfortable, with my pillows just so, propped up on my elbows. Sometimes I just relaxed and let him do it to me. Other times I was alert and pushed back. Sometimes I pushed back hard, and I was the one doing the fucking, eager and insistent.
I imagined him pulling out to come on my back. This is one of the things I most like to imagine, lately. The idea must have been put there by porn, but I don't care where it came from. I want to feel his cum hot on my back. I want to imagine seeing it third person as it happens to me.
Come in me, I told him. In just a few seconds, he was thrusting jaggedly as he came inside me, moaning quietly, and I felt somehow proud or justified.
(It had been a long time since he had come inside of me. We think it's safer if he comes other ways. Usually we fuck and then he'll come jacking off, or with me jacking him off.)
Then I lay on my back. He touched my nipples as I rubbed my clit and imagined him coming on my back some more, as I remembered the moment when he actually did come, imagined him doing it more aggressively and harsh, imagined it over and over again until I heard myself whimper in a way that sounded like fear, and the hot waves were crashing throughout my body. He held me, and I was happy.